Less Naïve
by lactose-intolerent
Summary: Even though he tried to protect her in the past, she is sinking now. But is there such a thing as a bottomless pit or does it just push her over the edge? They think that she's the same as in the past, just more quiet, but is that correct?


_**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice or any of its characters. Enjoy!!**_

**_You have heard many times before that bullying is a bad thing." Just don't do it"- They'll tell you. Yet how does it affect people? Are bullies even aware of what they're doing? Just because one person does it does not mean you can join. _**

**_In this chapter, I have tried my best to incoporate a victim's feelings in common situations such as these in the story (though with a GA twist). Keep in mind that bullying doesn't just apply to people deemed "losers" or "loners" or "wannabes", we've all bullied before. We've all talked behind someone's back, even if that person is our friend. Bullying will exist till the end of time- there is no cure for it. So as you're reading, keep this in mind and enjoy. _**

* * *

I could hear the gentle rustling of the crisp, autumn leaves, the ones that were still on the branches, the wind howling through them without a care in the world.

I could hear the soft thumping of human footsteps; two to be exact, their walking horribly unsynchronized and random. I could make out the low murmurs of their voices, one baritone while the other responded in a soft soprano, both so quiet yet so loud in my ears.

From the distance, an approaching vehicle could be heard, a truck making its way sluggishly to its destination because of its heavy load.

I could hear the familiar pounding of my heart, thudding in my chest like it was set on hyper drive. Yet, I remained quiet and calm, my joints frozen stiff as I took in my surroundings.

I could see nothing.

The full moon was out tonight, shining in all its lustrous glory, but the shadows still reigned. There were no lights, just darkness.

The truck was making its final turn, slowing down incase of surprises.

I moved my hand to the holster strapped on my thigh, my bare fingers grabbing the cold, hard handle of my weapon.

I breathed in calmly yet deeply, clearing my head of the wandering thoughts that made me feel guilty.

The voices before stopped, their feet completely still because they sensed the approaching vehicle.

The man and woman were probably married since they were talking in such a loving way before. Maybe they even have children. How would they react when their parents were discovered dead the next day? Would they cry and swear their revenge on their parents' murderer?

I shook my head, realizing what I was thinking. There was no time to feel like this, I have a job to do. Besides, this isn't the first time I've done this. Get a grip on yourself, Mikan.

The truck was quiet now, the engine shut off. I braced myself and waited for the perfect moment to strike.

The voices started up again, this time joined by a lively tenor. The driver sounded young, maybe he was around my age?

I secured my mask in place, taking one last breath as I heard the back of the truck fly open.

I leapt.

-

-

-

The end came as expected, for them as well as for me. Even though there were only three bodies, the blood spilling out of them seemed enough to fill a pool. The crimson in front of me seemed clearer than day and night.

I stood in the middle, my weapon clutched so tightly in my hand, I swore my knuckles were white.

The entire truck was occupied by one small crate. I picked it up and stared at the bodies before me.

The wind howled past me as a single tear fell, the leaves accompanying it with their gentle rustle.

* * *

Giant, grey clouds loomed over the sky, releasing a low rumble that forewarned the coming of a storm. The branches swayed with unease, a creaking sound emitting from the dry wood.

Shuddering slightly at the sound, a fifteen-year-old girl pulled her scarf closer to herself, trying to gain more heat.

It was a cold day in the Academy, one of the coldest in years. But then, it was nearly the end of November- it's only to be expected if the weather is unbearably freezing.

The brunette girl looked around her surroundings, trying to see if anyone else was on the same path as her. She had never liked being alone, and walking down a worn, old path on a cold, winter morning was no exception. Especially with the current situations involving the AAO, it was recommended that no student be walking alone on Academy grounds during anytime of the day.

Silent prayers ran through the young girl's mind as she turned her head back around, her long, chocolate brown hair wisping around her heart-shaped face as a cool wind blew through her. Her hand tightened its hold on her knitted, red scarf as the other hand clutched her schoolbag even more securely than before.

Compared to her ten-year old self, this girl was quite different; both physically and mentally. Through the years, she had grown into her fifteen-year-old body. Though no part of her could really be admired or envied, she, herself, never really worried about her physical appearance. But compared with everyone else, she was smaller. Not just in stature but socially as well. The once happy-go-lucky girl was now replaced by a more timid one, a girl who was more than willing to disappear into the background whenever put on the spot.

She had grown quieter, and more aware of her actions towards other people. Unlike back then where she rushed headfirst into things, she now considered all her possible actions, calculating the consequences of each one. Unless it was for a friend in dire need, she almost never took action. At least not that sort of action, she preferred to do things in her own, quiet way; actions that didn't put her in the center of attention, or any sort of attention for that matter if she had her way.

This was the reason why she had grown apart from most of her friends, building up a wall between the young girl and many other people in her daily life.

Another reason was him.

_Sensei._ She thought softly.

"Crack."

The brunette quickly whipped her head towards the sound, her chocolate brown eyes widening in fear as she halted to a stop.

But no one was there.

Was it her imagination? No it couldn't be. She specifically heard a noise that sounded like sticks breaking. Maybe she was just being paranoid because she was alone?

Letting out a deep breath, she peered around, taking in all of her surroundings to see if anything was out if place. There was nothing.

The tree where she heard the sound from- nothing seemed out of place. There was no signs of animals and definitely not from the birds. They would have migrated by now. Maybe it really was the wind.

Cautiously, she stepped forward, her head still turned incase someone was indeed following her. When she was sure everything was safe, she faced the direction she was going once again. What happened next was something she had not expected.

She wasn't sure what happened. One moment she was upright and walking, the next, she was falling face first before landing roughly on her knees on the hard gravel.

She winced at the sudden contact with the ground, wondering what had just happened.

"Watch where you're going, idiot?" A low, growling voice snapped the brunette out of her pain as she looked up to a pair of enchanting crimson eyes.

"Don't just stare at me! Are you mute now or something, snowman?" The boy demanded, his eyes now forming a glare.

"Snowman?" The girl muttered under her breath, wondering where that came from. Suddenly it hit her.

"NATSUME!!" She shrieked, bolting up in anger before keeling over at the sudden pain.

She sat and examined her knees, noticing that one of them was covered in blood while the other was just smudged with dirt.

Her fingers shook as she touched one of them to the small pool of crimson, a wave of memories flooding her mind.

Her eyes clenched shut in remembrance.

"You're going to be late for class, dummy." A far away voice reminded. Natsume had already started to walk away, leaving Mikan behind.

Mikan snapped her head up, her eyes wide with shock. She jolted up, only to fall once again at the sudden pain in her knee as well as the several rippling aches in her sore muscles.

"Ouch." She grimaced under her breath.

Natsume turned his head around, his crimson eyes wide with concern and shock, wondering whether or not he should turn back to help her.

Fortunately for him, she did not see those eyes.

"Tch." He grumbled in response to her pain as he spun back around in the direction he was going.

"_If you don't want her hurt, stay away from her. You know in this Academy, I'm the only one who has enough power to hurt her and save her if anything happens."_

His bangs hiding his eyes, he walked away, the sound of creaking branches following his every step, almost as if nature, too, was praying for him to turn around.

The brunette stared at the retreating figure, her brown eyes filled with anguish, sorrow and longing. Anguish because Natsume didn't bother to help her, sorrow because he didn't even second glance or hesitate when walking away from her and longing because even if she was ignored by the entire Academy she could at least count on him to be there.

"_Stupid Natsume."_ She thought as she started to get up slowly.

Thinking of his cold, hard face just makes her want to pounce him and stuff some emotions into him, but the current Mikan would never do that. Maybe her ten year self would without a second thought but right now, at this time and place, with so many emotions pulsing through her veins, she could only restrain herself and watch him leave her behind.

It hurt to love him.

The brunette heaved a sigh, suddenly feeling exhausted from her over whelming emotions.

Standing up, she checked her knee, which had stopped bleeding by now, the crevices of her skin starting to flake with dry blood. Taking a neatly folded Kleenex from her jacket pocket, she dabbed the excess blood before sprinting to class, careful not to reopen the wound.

* * *

"Hey, where's Sakura?" An unknown voice questioned.

Her hand stopped inches before the door handle at the sound of her name. Even though there were only three words in that sentence, it brought her joy that someone unknown was thinking about her at the moment.

"Who cares?" A feminine voice stated.

"Yeah, you're right. If anything, I hope she **doesn't** come today." The tone of the unknown voice changed from a curious to ruthless, not sparing any sort of remorse or sympathy. "She's such a loser."

Her heart clenched. She should be used to the commentary by now. Her heart was feeling a usual rawness to it, like the organ could stop at any time, but her mind thought other wise. It just couldn't comprehend the pain and the logistics behind it, even though it has been years.

"Don't say that about her. You know it isn't true." Inchou's voice sounded over the classroom. "She's not a loser."

"Who are you kidding, Inchou?" That feminine voice retorted- it sounded much like Sumire. "You can say whatever you want, but even you know that deep down in your heart, Sakura is a loser. This was decided years ago, and the only thing left to enforce that statement is to set it in stone."

Ouch.

"No, I would never think that. It's just . . . .that . . . well, . . . ." Yuu's voice sounded shaky, like his mind was racing to find an appropriate defense for Mikan.

"Its just that she what? Because she has her reasons- yeah, I doubt that. We're all in the same Alice Academy, we're all in the same boat, and we're all being hunted by the AAO. What does she have to complain about, her Alice is useless and she's not doing any sort of mission. If anything, it should be Natsume-sama who complains because he's taking deadly missions every night."

Silence reigned inside the classroom. Yuu could say nothing.

Outside, Mikan's hand fell from the doorknob to her side, her entire being suddenly feeling numb. Her eyes became blank like she was lost in her own world and she just stood there.

It was silent, even more silent than the night before. There were no students left in the hallway, no lingering sound, not a single being, nothing.

Nothing.

The inside of the classroom was filled with chatter again, conversations started by other students to fill the awkward silence, but she didn't hear anything.

She couldn't feel anything either.

This routinely ridicule- she should be use to it but the lump in her throat didn't agree. How did it become like this years later? How?

The hallway around her was pristine, not a speck of dust anywhere. There were vases and fake flowers, sitting chairs and tables, tiles on the floor and chandeliers on the ceiling. It was all familiar to her because the hallway was the same as yesterday. It was all familiar to her because the hallway was the same a month ago, as well as years before that.

She felt frozen in time, with nothing to say, and no way to react. Yet, her surroundings moved. Her classmates grew up and her teachers moved on. So much time have passed, yet she still felt like a child.

How should she react to a situation like this; what should she do?

Her eyes were still blank.

"Mikan-chan?" A worried voice forced her head up in surprise, her eyes coming back to life. How long has she been standing there?

"Ohayo Narumi-sensei." She flashed a practiced smile at her loving teacher, feigning happiness on this cold winter day.

It was evident that the blond haired teacher has aged ever since her elementary school years. Hints of gray were showing in his hair, and the beginning of wrinkles were starting to appear. But he was still the same Narumi-sensei she met outside the Academy gates years before. He was her loving otou-san.

"Are you alright, Mikan-chan? You seem kind of dazed there." His violet eyes gleamed with care and concern as the girl began to breathe again.

"Oh, I was just thinking about my math test today. I'm kind of worried because I didn't study very much." How many times have she lied to cover up the sorrow inside? She couldn't count anymore.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll do fine. Your grades have improved over the years; you're not the same Mikan-chan in elementary school anymore." He noticed her chocolate brown eyes widening at this statement, before adding, "You've grown so much since then."

Mikan's breath caught for a moment- Narumi-sensei must have noticed- because for that millisecond, she thought he had noticed the vast changes, and the reasons that caused them.

"Mikan-chan?" He asked once again, noticing the look of panic in her eyes. It was subtle, but to him, his daughter's emotions seemed crystal to him at the moment.

She didn't reply.

"Mikan-chan?" He repeated, only louder.

This time, her head snapped up at the sound of her name.

"Yes?" She asked, as if nothing happened.

What was wrong with her?

"Come on, Mikan-chan. Let's go in. The bell has already rung."

The girl shook her head to clear her thoughts, placing a wide smile on her face. "Hai, sensei."

They entered the classroom together, the class completely silent at the arrival of the teacher.

Pretending nothing happened and that she had just arrived to class as well, she walked the familiar steps to her seat, that smile still etched on her face though it had shrunk.

She could feel the eyes on her back, most of them glaring heatedly, while the others looked down at their paper and pretended nothing was going on. Finally, she reached her seat at the back of the class.

Dropping her school bag beside her, she plopped down onto the bench. Only then did the stares let up. She glanced towards the chalkboard before sighing, wondering if today would be like the rest.

At the front of the classroom, Narumi-sensei was teaching, his back facing the students as he wrote something on the board. The only sound heard was the chalk.

Mikan looked beside her, towards a sleeping raven haired boy and a blond one, who was copying notes into his cluttered notebook. Neither of them had defended her during the class's little "discussion" nor had they acknowledged her presence in anyway as usual.

She peered at her own notebook, empty and bare. Picking up her pencil, she attempted to write but stopped when she noticed her best friend from the corner of her eye.

Truly, Hotaru was stunning compared to her; she didn't even know where to begin. Everyone knew that she was her best friend- it wasn't a statement anymore, it was a fact. Yet, the irony of it all was that they weren't really close. Hotaru had depended on her once cheerful best friend like air, but when the brunette became more hollow on the inside, they were distanced from each other a great deal. At the moment, the title of "best friends" was only for show.

Mikan darted her eyes away from the raven haired figure, facing the chalkboard once more. By now, one of the boards was already filled with Narumi-sensei's neat penmanship. Her page was still blank.

In the corner of the page, she wrote the date, preparing herself to catch up on the massive amount of notes currently in front of her.

She fiddled with her pencil for a moment, before settling it back down. There was no use, she just couldn't concentrate.

Turning her head, she stared aimlessly out the window for the remainder of the class.

* * *

Finally. She thought it would never end.

Turning a corner, she walked, a certain bounce to each step. At the moment, she was pretty content because school was finally over.

Her scarf trailed behind her, the article of clothing now carelessly wrapped around her throat compared to this morning.

She breathed in deeply, feeling the coolness in the air before exhaling all her troubles and worries. At least for now, allow her to forget.

The wind blew comfortably, unlike this morning; even the sun seemed to shine brighter on this cozy afternoon. Maybe she should go for a jog later.

Mikan took another deep breath, this time inhaling the sweet scent of the fallen leaves, the corners of her pink lips almost turning up in a smile.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" A voice declared haughtily from behind her.

Her mood ceased as she turned around, facing a smirking Sumire surrounded by a bunch of her friends.

"What do you want?" The brunette sighed exasperatedly as her chocolate coloured eyes became dull.

"Oh, nothing. Just thought I'd have a little fun." The green haired girl examined her permed hair as she spoke, her fingers fiddling and twirling with a couple of strands.

"In that case, I'll just leave so I don't disturb you." Mikan spun on heel, her back facing her classmates.

"Hold it right there, you loser." Shouda commanded. "Girls, surround her."

The girls swiftly encircled her, trapping her in an dismal circle with she and Shouda in the center.

Mikan turned back around, meeting eye to eye with Sumire once again.

"I didn't do anything." The brunette declared with clarity.

"Au contraire, you pathetic wench. Your face is enough to make me puke. Why do you even bother to show up to class anymore? You're hopeless." The green eyed girl now glared, her mouth turned down in a slight displeasure. "You don't belong here."

The brunette's eyes shut tight, holding back all of her emotions. Ouch- that last part got to her.

"What are you going to do now- cry? What are _you_ complaining about anyways? Even if you went missing, no one would ever notice. And you want to know why?" Permy gritted her teeth, taking a hard step towards the hurt girl. "Because no one cares."

She inhaled, a clear sign that she was already choking back a sob.

"You are pathetic and useless. Why you even exist is a question yet to be answered. Why don't you just snivel your way back to whatever dirt hole you came from, because you know that in the near future, you will end up like _her_- your poor, pitied mother. You will end up dead!"

Why couldn't she just stop?! Why?

Everyone already knew that her mother betrayed Alice Academy, didn't she suffer enough already from this fact, itself.

Mikan collapsed to her knees, her eyes still squeezed shut to prevent fresh tears. Before her, Sumire stood, gazing proudly over her handy work.

It was silent all around, and just like this morning, the air was heavy with torment and mock.

"And you know what else," Sumire's voice was now soft, though it was just as relentless as ever. " after you're **dead**, the world will be a **better place**."

The first sob broke,barely a sound but it unleashed laughter from all around.

"Cry- just cry and snivel like the traitor you will be." Sumire smirked menacingly, the girls around her snickering upon cue.

"Oi, what do you think you're doing?" A deep voice sounded from out of nowhere, stopping everything in play.

Mikan's head rose, her wet eyes peering through her bangs. She knew that voice.

"Oh hi, Natsume-sama." The green haired girl swooned. "We were just having a little chat with this los- I mean, Sakura-san. Would you like to join us?"

"You're annoying." He replied, his crimson eyes gazing directly into Mikan's eyes. They were hard and distant.

Sumire, not having seen the eye contact, smoothed out her skirt, her group of friends breaking their circle and gathering behind her.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Natsume-sama. We'll leave right away." Sumire stated in utmost politeness before leading her girls away.

Everything was quiet once again. Even the leaves had stopped blowing momentarily.

She wasn't sure how much time passed but when her mind finally comprehended what happened, her tears were dry. Natsume had just saved her.

She wiped her tear-stained face, bringing the tiniest amount of life back to her cheeks as she stood up.

"Arigato Natsume." She spoke softly, like she couldn't handle anything else at the moment.

He turned his back on her, his eyes still distant. "Don't get me wrong, I wasn't talking about her, . . . . traitor." The last word came out quietly, barely a whisper, but Mikan heard as her eyes grew wide.

He started to walk away, as the girl collapsed on her knees again. This time, the tears came in an instant.

Natsume could hear her quiet sobs but he just kept walking away, his eyes looking forward, and his heart pounding with guilt as the familiar words replayed in his mind for the second time that day.

"_Stay away from her."_

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**I know I have a lot of things to answer for and yes, my "disappearnce" (if you noticed) is one of them. First, though, I would like to talk about this fic and chapter. **

**If you had read the bold and italic words at the beginning then you can probably guess what the basic theme of this story is. My eyes are more open to these sort of behaviors now since I am in high school and I do admit that none of us is innocent. Talking behind someone's back is considered bullying no matter how many friends they have or how close you are. I am definitely not innocent because though I may not be the worse, I have talked behind peoples' backs before though at that time I wasn't aware of it. For this first chapter, the central theme is bullying from a victim's point of view. For the rest of the chapters, bullying is a recurring theme but with more GA activity and other sinful habits. **

**I am also trying to write with as many emotions as I can to further my writing skills so if it's not intense enough or just over dramatic, just tell me and I'll try to fix it up or keep it in mind for next time. I'm thinking about looking for a beta to make sure this fic is alright before i post it. Hm . . . what do you think?**

**Now to explain my little disappearance. First and foremost, I have a reason but you may or may not think I have an excuse- figure it out yourself. For the entire summer, I was out of the country, away from my computer and my house and I was living with my grand parents. They don't have computers, and their TV is not of good quality either and the computers in the library were in chinese- I can't read chinese. Anyways, I came back home a couple days before school and I just relaxed, reconnecting with technology. When school started, I swear I nearly jumped a bridge though not physically. Seriously, it's like the teachers have a meeting every week so they can cackle and scheme about the homework they'll give you. I've been so stuffed that I'm obese with homework now. And no, right now is not any better because I have a minimum of 5 textbooks lined up beside me at the moment. EEEK!!**

**Also, you may have noticed that I had deleted my supposed 2nd long fic, titled "You make me feel like a star" or something like that. I deleted that because one, I was out of the country and if I had kept it there, I would be killed with guilt instead of homework and two, after my June exams, I completely forgot the plot to the story. I'm not going to lie, just shoot me. But I do promise to pick it back up soon. **

**Oh, and I love that reader traffic thing that fanfiction has installed. I know you all exist out there in this world but that fact only hit me when I discovered the reader traffic. Afterwards, I was like "OMG, there are people who read my stories." and even now I am shocked that people around the world have even bothered with lil' old me.**

**Anyways, I'm going to let you go now because I think I wrote too much. Feel free to ask me any questions or give me advice. Thanks for reading and remember, bullying hurts. **

**P.S. There are no guarantees of when the next chapter will be uploaded because I have to see the devil now, and its name begins with 'h'. **


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